finishing.

So I made this blog in august and have only written once. That's a really typical thing I do... maybe this will change soon.

Tonight I am reminded that one of the most difficult things for me to do is truly let go of control and give it to God. Trusting him with the details should be easy but somehow the control makes me feel like it will all come out the way I think it should. I've recently graduated from a little place called Hillsong, left the sweet shores of Australia and planted myself right back in Charlotte with little to no plans. I wish I could tell you that makes me excited, but right now it annoys me because I like to have plans. Making plans is something I do... in fact, I also take great interest in planning everyone else's lives, yours included. (that's a joke..) Whether or not my plans come through (and usually they don't... you know how plans are..) it's the present inspiration that matters to me. I'm fighting for that inspiration right now, at a time in my life where I am at the beginning of everything with nothing in my hands but who I am. A completely blank canvas with only a glint of the finished product (or at least some of it) and not a clue how to start making it. I guess that is where I need to learn and learn and learn again how to let God take over and work through me when I feel like I've got nothing. Nothing to offer, nothing to bring but me. Maybe this is the best place to be. Maybe making plans is what he wants to do, and what I can do is trust that every single one is good, to give me hope and a future I could never try to dream up. So here I am. You can have it all.