can the weather please pick something?

So. Lately I've been going through my different sites (hotmail... this one...) and finally changing my location to Charlotte from Sydney. You know, it's really a lot harder than it sounds. I actually have to make it "official" that I'm no longer living in Sydney.. settled back in my lovely America. For now. I keep saying it like that. People will ask me,

"So are you back in Charlotte for good?"
"Yeah! For now.."
"Oh... ok.."

It's cause I can't make up my mind. Or maybe It's because I've been back in this country for almost 4 months now (what?!) and I still dream of going back, even if it means swimming. Granted, I've only been back in charlotte for a month... and I realize it's going to take some time figuring things out. I just get impatient sometimes, because I want it to be good right now, and I want everything to make sense and come together right now. And I want to fix things myself, and not wait or lean on anyone else to do it. I don't like to admit that sometimes I view God like that.. especially since it's only my head that keeps going and freaking out about all the goals I haven't made and all the time I'm wasting by sleeping in and doing nothing with my life.. and all the things I could do if I had this or that. But my heart knows so well that God will provide, and that He always has, and if I trust Him... well that's just all I need. It feels like my emotions have been consistent only with the weather, which isn't very reliable right now. I'm done being so fragile. It's time I let God show me again just how good and faithful He really is.