So. Lately I've been going through my different sites (hotmail... this one...) and finally changing my location to Charlotte from Sydney. You know, it's really a lot harder than it sounds. I actually have to make it "official" that I'm no longer living in Sydney.. settled back in my lovely America. For now. I keep saying it like that. People will ask me,
"So are you back in Charlotte for good?"
"Yeah! For now.."
"Oh... ok.."
It's cause I can't make up my mind. Or maybe It's because I've been back in this country for almost 4 months now (what?!) and I still dream of going back, even if it means swimming. Granted, I've only been back in charlotte for a month... and I realize it's going to take some time figuring things out. I just get impatient sometimes, because I want it to be good right now, and I want everything to make sense and come together right now. And I want to fix things myself, and not wait or lean on anyone else to do it. I don't like to admit that sometimes I view God like that.. especially since it's only my head that keeps going and freaking out about all the goals I haven't made and all the time I'm wasting by sleeping in and doing nothing with my life.. and all the things I could do if I had this or that. But my heart knows so well that God will provide, and that He always has, and if I trust Him... well that's just all I need. It feels like my emotions have been consistent only with the weather, which isn't very reliable right now. I'm done being so fragile. It's time I let God show me again just how good and faithful He really is.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
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